Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
