I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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