I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
