I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
