She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
