so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize