The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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