is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
