He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
