you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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