I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
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Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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