I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
