he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
