sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
