You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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