Christians are straight up FREAKS
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You are the jesus of drinking
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
