I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I will be naked everywhere
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
