At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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