He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
