Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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