I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
