Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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