What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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