I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
me + whiskey = a bad person
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
