remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
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question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
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My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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