Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
