the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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