No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
