its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How external is "for external use only"?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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