operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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