I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
