i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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