What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
