dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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