talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
