dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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