Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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