I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
