if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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