How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
