If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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