I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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