he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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