Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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