he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
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