I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
high people should be assigned attendants
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
nutella sex= disaster
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
