you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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