So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
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