wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
