i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
