I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize