Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
