I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
