So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
