I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
