Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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