Kiss
Puke
so that wasnt chicken after all
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
