We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
