Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
