i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
